It’s not all about you. It’s counterintuitive, but I have found that things related to motivation usually are. When you’re having a bad day, when you fell slow and unproductive or even when you feel miserable, a good option that you normally wouldn’t think about is to try and find someone that you can help.

If you spend these kind of day trying to find ways to help yourself, you will only find more reasons to be disappointed. That’s how mood distorts our perception.

I have found that if you instead try and find someone you can help, it can do wonders for your motivation and your mood, if you approach it with the right attitude. If you see it as a burden or as people getting in your way, then it will only make things worse. However, if you reframe it as an opportunity to do something valuable on a day when you’re feeling “off”, it can turn around a bad day.

If you’re going to be slow and useless on your own stuff sometimes, it could be worth it to change gears and help someone else instead and likely the satisfaction of helping others can pull you up from the pit.

The counterintuitive nature of motivation

Things related to motivation usually are counterintuitive. What feels like the right thing to do when you’re struggling is often the opposite of what would actually help. Our instincts can lead us astray when it comes to improving our mental state.

When you’re having a bad day, your first instinct is usually to focus on yourself. You want to fix your problems, improve your mood, and get back to feeling good. But this self-focus often makes things worse.

The more you try to help yourself when you’re down, the more you notice your problems. You become hyper-aware of everything that’s wrong, everything you’re not doing well, and everything that’s making you feel bad.

Self-focus amplifies negative emotions. When you’re already feeling down and you turn your attention inward, you’re essentially shining a spotlight on your problems. This doesn’t help you solve them, it just makes them feel bigger and more overwhelming.

The counterintuitive solution is to focus on others. Instead of trying to fix yourself, try to help someone else. This shift in focus can have a profound effect on your mood and motivation.

Helping others creates a positive feedback loop. When you help someone, you feel good about yourself, which improves your mood, which makes you more likely to help others, which makes you feel even better.

How mood distorts our perception

Mood distorts our perception in powerful ways. When you’re feeling down, everything looks worse than it actually is. Your problems seem bigger, your capabilities seem smaller, and your future seems bleaker.

If you spend these kind of day trying to find ways to help yourself, you will only find more reasons to be disappointed. This is the cruel irony of bad moods: the more you try to fix them by focusing on yourself, the worse they get.

Negative mood creates a negative filter. Everything you see, think about, and experience gets filtered through your current emotional state. Good things seem less good, neutral things seem bad, and bad things seem catastrophic.

Self-focus during bad moods is like looking through a microscope at your problems. You’re taking small issues and making them appear huge and overwhelming. This doesn’t help you solve them, it just makes them feel more insurmountable.

The distortion works in both directions. Just as bad moods make everything seem worse, good moods make everything seem better. This is why helping others can be so effective: it shifts your mood, which shifts your entire perspective.

You can’t trust your perception when you’re in a bad mood. Your thoughts and feelings are not reliable indicators of reality when you’re feeling down. This is why it’s important to have strategies that work regardless of your current emotional state.

The power of helping others

I have found that if you instead try and find someone you can help, it can do wonders for your motivation and your mood. This is not just feel-good advice, it’s a practical strategy based on how our psychology actually works.

Helping others shifts your focus from internal to external. Instead of dwelling on your problems, you’re focused on someone else’s needs. This shift alone can provide immediate relief from negative self-focus.

Acts of kindness release positive hormones. When you help others, your brain releases oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. These are the same chemicals that make you feel good when you’re happy.

Helping others gives you a sense of purpose. When you’re feeling down, you often feel like you don’t matter or that you’re not contributing anything valuable. Helping others directly addresses this feeling.

You get immediate feedback. Unlike trying to fix your own problems, which can take time and effort, helping others often provides immediate positive feedback. You can see the impact of your actions right away.

Helping others builds your confidence. When you successfully help someone, it reminds you that you have value and capabilities, even when you’re feeling down.

It creates positive momentum. One act of kindness often leads to another, creating a positive spiral that can pull you out of a bad mood.

The right attitude matters

If you approach it with the right attitude, helping others can transform your day. But if you see it as a burden or as people getting in your way, then it will only make things worse.

Reframe it as an opportunity. Instead of thinking, “I have to help this person,” think, “I get to help this person.” This simple shift in perspective makes all the difference.

See it as doing something valuable on a day when you’re feeling ‘off’. When you’re not at your best for your own work, you can still be valuable to others. This reframe turns a limitation into an opportunity.

Focus on the impact, not the effort. Instead of thinking about how much work it will take to help someone, focus on the positive impact your help will have on their life.

Approach it with curiosity. Instead of seeing helping others as a distraction from your problems, see it as an interesting opportunity to learn something new or practice a skill.

Make it about connection. Helping others is not just about the task, it’s about the human connection. Focus on the relationship and the positive interaction, not just the outcome.

Choose to help rather than feeling obligated. When you choose to help others, it feels empowering. When you feel obligated, it feels like a burden. The choice is yours.

Practical strategies for helping others

Start small. You don’t need to solve someone’s biggest problem. Even small acts of kindness can have a big impact on your mood.

Look for opportunities in your daily life. Help a coworker with a task, hold the door for someone, offer to carry groceries, or simply ask someone how they’re doing and really listen.

Use your skills. If you’re good at something, offer to help others with it. This makes helping feel natural and enjoyable rather than forced.

Be present. When you’re helping someone, really be there. Put away your phone, make eye contact, and give them your full attention.

Don’t expect anything in return. Help others because it’s the right thing to do, not because you expect them to help you back. This keeps the focus on the act of helping rather than the transaction.

Celebrate small wins. Notice and appreciate the positive impact of your help, even if it’s small. This reinforces the positive feedback loop.

Make it a habit. The more you help others, the more natural it becomes, and the more benefits you’ll experience.

When you’re feeling “off”

If you’re going to be slow and useless on your own stuff sometimes, it could be worth it to change gears and help someone else instead. This is a practical strategy for making the most of days when you’re not at your best.

Accept that some days you won’t be productive on your own goals. Instead of fighting this reality, work with it. Use these days to help others instead.

The satisfaction of helping others can pull you up from the pit. Even when you’re feeling down, helping others can provide a sense of accomplishment and purpose that your own work might not.

Helping others doesn’t require you to be at your best. You don’t need to be feeling great to be kind, patient, or helpful. In fact, helping others can help you get back to feeling great.

It’s a win-win situation. When you help others on a bad day, you’re not just helping them, you’re helping yourself. You’re creating value and improving your mood at the same time.

The momentum can carry over. The positive feelings from helping others can give you the energy and motivation to tackle your own challenges later.

The mindset shift

It’s not all about you. This simple reminder can be incredibly powerful when you’re feeling down or stuck.

Your problems are not the center of the universe. When you’re in a bad mood, it’s easy to think that your problems are all that matter. Helping others reminds you that there’s a bigger world out there.

You have value even when you’re struggling. Helping others reminds you that you have something to offer, even when you’re not feeling your best.

Connection is more important than perfection. You don’t need to be perfect to help others. You just need to be present and willing to help.

Small actions can have big impacts. You don’t need to change the world to make a difference. Small acts of kindness can have ripple effects that you might never see.

The best way to help yourself is often to help others. This is the counterintuitive truth that can transform your approach to bad days and difficult times.

The bottom line

When you’re having a bad day, helping others is often the best thing you can do for yourself. It’s counterintuitive, but it works.

Mood distorts perception, so don’t trust your instincts when you’re down. Instead of focusing on yourself, focus on others.

The right attitude makes all the difference. See helping others as an opportunity, not a burden.

Small acts of kindness can transform your day. You don’t need to solve world hunger to make a difference.

The satisfaction of helping others can pull you up from the pit. Even on your worst days, you can still be valuable to others.

It’s not all about you. This reminder can be the key to breaking out of negative thought patterns and improving your mood.

Helping others is a practical strategy for improving your own well-being. It’s not just feel-good advice, it’s psychology-backed self-care.

The next time you’re having a bad day, try helping someone else. You might be surprised by how much it helps you.