Three questions. It is very important to look back. Not to beat yourself up about what went wrong, but to recognize what went right. This doesn’t mean that we should ignore what went wrong, on the contrary, we should always review it and extract learning opportunities. Don’t dwell on what you messed up, note the lessons and move forward.

At the same time, we need to recognize all the things that we did right and figure out how to continue doing them well while correcting with the lessons learned from the mistakes.

The three questions that will help us reset and rebalance our perspective:

1. What went well?
2. What went wrong?
3. What will I do differently this time?

Do this regularly, at least weekly, and you will notice a gradual but consistent improvement in everything you do.

The importance of looking back

Looking back is essential for growth. Without reflection, we repeat the same patterns, make the same mistakes, and miss opportunities to build on our successes. Reflection is the bridge between experience and wisdom.

Most people avoid looking back. They’re either too busy moving forward or too afraid of what they might see. But avoiding reflection is like driving without checking your rearview mirror, you miss important information that could help you navigate better.

Looking back doesn’t mean dwelling. There’s a crucial difference between healthy reflection and unhealthy rumination. Reflection is purposeful and forward-focused, while rumination is circular and self-defeating.

The goal is balanced assessment. You want to see the full picture, not just the highlights or the lowlights. This requires looking at both successes and failures with equal attention and curiosity.

Regular reflection creates momentum. Each time you look back and learn, you’re building a foundation for better performance in the future. This compound effect is what creates lasting improvement.

What went well?

Start with what went well. This is often the most overlooked part of reflection. We’re so focused on fixing problems that we forget to acknowledge and build on our successes.

Success analysis is just as important as failure analysis. When you understand what worked, you can do more of it. You can also apply those principles to other areas of your life.

Look for patterns in your successes. What conditions were present when you performed well? What mindset were you in? What preparation did you do? These insights are gold for future performance.

Celebrate your wins, no matter how small. Every success, no matter how minor, is evidence that you’re capable of good performance. This builds confidence and motivation.

Success analysis prevents complacency. When you understand why something worked, you’re less likely to take it for granted. You can also identify areas where you can improve even further.

Document your successes. Keep a record of what went well so you can refer back to it. This creates a library of successful strategies you can draw from in the future.

What went wrong?

Face what went wrong with curiosity, not judgment. The goal isn’t to beat yourself up, it’s to understand what happened and why. Approach mistakes as learning opportunities, not evidence of failure.

Separate the mistake from your identity. You made a mistake, you’re not a mistake. This distinction is crucial for maintaining confidence while learning from experience.

Look for root causes, not just symptoms. Don’t just focus on what went wrong, dig deeper to understand why it went wrong. This helps you address the underlying issues rather than just the surface problems.

Identify what was within your control. Some things that go wrong are beyond your control. Focus your energy on the things you could have influenced or changed.

Look for patterns in your mistakes. Do you tend to make the same types of errors? Are there common conditions or situations where you struggle? These patterns are valuable clues for improvement.

Extract specific lessons. Instead of general conclusions like “I need to work harder,” identify specific, actionable insights like “I need to start earlier when I have a deadline.”

What will I do differently this time?

This is where reflection becomes action. The first two questions are about understanding, this question is about change. It’s the bridge between learning and improvement.

Be specific about your changes. Instead of vague intentions like “I’ll do better,” make specific commitments like “I’ll start this project three days earlier” or “I’ll practice this skill for 15 minutes daily.”

Focus on what you can control. Don’t make plans that depend on other people or external circumstances. Focus on the actions and behaviors that are within your power to change.

Start small. Don’t try to change everything at once. Pick one or two key improvements and focus on those. Small changes are more likely to stick and create lasting improvement.

Make your changes measurable. If possible, quantify your improvements so you can track your progress. This helps you see that your reflection is leading to actual change.

Commit to a timeline. Give yourself a specific timeframe to implement your changes. This creates accountability and helps you stay focused on improvement.

The power of regular practice

Do this regularly, at least weekly. Consistency is key. Regular reflection creates a habit of learning and improvement that compounds over time.

Weekly reflection is the sweet spot. Daily reflection can be overwhelming, monthly reflection can miss important details. Weekly reflection gives you enough distance to see patterns while keeping the details fresh.

Create a ritual around reflection. Set aside a specific time each week for this practice. Make it a non-negotiable part of your routine, like exercise or meal planning.

Use a consistent format. Whether you write it down, record it, or just think through it, use the same three questions every time. This creates structure and makes the practice more effective.

Track your progress over time. Keep a record of your reflections so you can see how your answers change over time. This shows you that you’re actually growing and improving.

Share your insights with others. Talking about what you’ve learned can help you process it more deeply and might help others as well.

The mindset for effective reflection

Approach reflection with curiosity. You’re not looking for evidence to prove you’re good or bad, you’re gathering information to help you improve.

Be honest with yourself. Don’t sugar-coat your failures or downplay your successes. Honest assessment is the foundation of real improvement.

Focus on learning, not judging. The goal isn’t to determine whether you’re good or bad, it’s to understand what works and what doesn’t so you can do better.

Embrace imperfection. You’re going to make mistakes, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s continuous improvement.

Trust the process. Improvement takes time and consistency. Trust that regular reflection will lead to better performance, even if the changes aren’t immediately visible.

Celebrate the practice itself. The act of reflecting is a win, regardless of what you discover. You’re showing up for yourself and committing to growth.

Practical implementation

Set aside 15-30 minutes each week. Find a time when you can be alone and undistracted. This might be Sunday evening, Monday morning, or any other time that works for you.

Use a simple format. You can write it down, type it, or just think through it. The key is consistency, not complexity.

Start with one area of your life. You might focus on work, relationships, health, or any other area where you want to improve. You can expand to other areas as you get comfortable with the practice.

Be patient with yourself. It takes time to develop the skill of honest reflection. Don’t expect to get it perfect right away.

Adjust the questions as needed. While the three questions are powerful, feel free to modify them to better fit your specific situation or goals.

Make it enjoyable. Create a pleasant environment for your reflection time. Maybe have a cup of tea, sit in a comfortable chair, or listen to music that helps you think.

The bottom line

Three simple questions can transform your life. What went well? What went wrong? What will I do differently this time? These questions create a framework for continuous learning and improvement.

Regular reflection is the key to growth. Without looking back, you’re flying blind. With regular reflection, you’re constantly learning and improving.

Balance is crucial. Don’t just focus on problems, also acknowledge and build on your successes. Don’t just dwell on mistakes, extract lessons and move forward.

Consistency beats intensity. It’s better to reflect for 15 minutes every week than to do a deep dive once a month. Regular practice creates lasting change.

Start today. Pick one area of your life and ask yourself these three questions. Experience the clarity and direction that comes from honest reflection.

Keep going. The more you practice this, the better you’ll get at it. And the better you get at reflection, the more you’ll improve in everything you do.

Three questions, weekly practice, lifelong improvement. It’s that simple and that powerful.